Barnzi's infamous quotes page is back!

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"It's like a big squinty toothy grin of rape."
Marty

" I'd rather cut my wang off with a guitar string than organise a con around star trek."
Miyabi

"I'd rather go screw on a Muck where I have the wonder of the entire english language to describe my deviancy, rather than a few bad animations and a crudely rendered penis."
Kittiah

"Im out of dosh ;.; No cock for me."
Kittiah

"If it doesn't go, force it. If it breaks, it needed fixing anyway."

"God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?"
Car bumper sticker.

"What did you do? Shit an air freshener?"
Medium Pete

"If I may lend a macheté to your intellectual thicket."
Cpt. Jack Sparrow

"Oh! You've found my rubber alien."
Medium Pete

"I like to be able to see what I'm boffing."
Agrajag

"...or a good wank. Nothing beats someone else doing it for you."
Unknown

"Morbo does not like kittens. They give him wind."
Morbo

"-This is good sh*t, huh?"
"-It's a f**king cigarette!"
Donnie Darko

"If music is a journey, jazz is getting lost."
John O'Farrell

"Beer is the answer and the reason I get up every afternoon."

"Bite my shiny metal ass!"
Bender

"Fat people are harder to kidnap."
Name of a Chancellor's Challenge pub quiz team.

"You can't taste the vodka, but it burns."
Heike

"These go to 11!"

"Beer - Not just for breakfast anymore!"
Oz Bumper Sticker

"I got out of bed for this?"
Rob in 9am lecture

"An Aston Martin still looks like an Aston Martin; even with too much flash."
Owen discussing the Capac-O-Meter

"who would write a song about playing pinball using only smell if they weren't high as a hippie on the 3rd day of an open air festival?"
Borked by Matt from Rimmerworld, Red Dwarf 6.

"Is a sand crab's ass watertight?"
Planet Rock

"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another drink."

"There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation."
John Ciardi

Bender: "I think I got whiplash."
Leila: "How can you have whiplash when you haven't got a neck?"
Bender: "Ass whiplash, you ass!"
Gotta love Futurama

"I like mounting them."
Jacob talking about ISO CD images.

"Light the blue touch paper and run like f*ck."
Eddie Hitler

"Well I found the best way to do as little as possible is to assign yourself to all these meetings.. you're hardly ever there and everyone praises you because you're showing interest."
Branded Bunni